Do not believe everything your mind tells you! You always have a choice!
- vartikavats3
- Jun 23
- 2 min read
Real choice begins when we are mindful enough to observe our own thoughts, feelings, and the language we use to express them.
Every time we are triggered or stressed, the alarm system in our brain (amygdala) goes off and alerts us to danger. It tells us to either fight, flight or freeze.
Its purpose is to protect you, but it gets activated by a small distress.
Remember the last time your boss or partner triggered you, and you got defensive instead of listening to them and addressing their concerns. Well, that was your amygdala trying to protect you.
Humans are configured that way. For any sign of threat, the amygdala gets triggered (activating memories and stories created in the past), and our mind creates a fear-based response, which is not based on facts. It then causes us to REACT and REGRET!
How many times have you thought, "I wish I had handled this situation better".
It puts us in a negative mindset, where we start thinking about all the things that are going wrong or could go wrong, which then leads to a negativity spiral. Do not believe everything your mind tells you! You always have a choice.
Look at this choice picture above. When the amygdala takes over, we enter a judger mindset. Notice how much our questions differ when we are in a judger mindset vs a learner mindset.
How to identify that you are in a judger mindset?
--> You feel stressed and frustrated
--> You do not feel good in your body
--> You feel angry and you want to either fight or flight
--> Your heartbeat goes up
How can you switch to a learner mindset?
1) Once you realize that you are triggered, first take a few deep breaths. It will help center you.
2) Identify what the facts are and what the lie your mind is telling you
2) Ask yourself these questions -
Why am I reacting this way?
What assumptions am I making?
How else can I think about this?
What is the other person thinking, feeling, and wanting?
How do I want to show up in this situation?
Simply doing this will help you shift your mindset, allowing you to control your thoughts rather than letting them control you. Rewiring your brain requires considerable practice. I have been practicing for years, and I still go into judger all the time, but the amount of time I stay there is becoming less and less.
The whole idea is to accept the Judger and practice Learner.
This post is influenced by -
Adams, Marilee - Change your questions, change your life. Buy it here -
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